This attachment is called modelling - not the catwalk kind (although I have to admit those little chicks were looking very cute when I saw them) but the copying kind. Young animals learn the tricks of their trade by modelling the adults that bring them up.
As children we are open and sensitive to the nuances being played out in our parents' relationship. Any vulnerability we experienced, any upset we witnessed, any rejection, heartbreak, humiliation or hurt we felt will be stored in our subconscious mind and influence our beliefs and thoughts about our own self, life and relationships.
How was your parents' relationship growing up? What model of relationship is your subconscious using a template? Even though you vowed you wouldn't be like your mother, you'd get a career and marry a man who was the opposite of your father, years down the line do you look around you and realise that, whilst your life might look quite different on the outside, inside you now understand exactly how she felt? If we have no successful relationship model to draw from, and no awareness of the deep programmes that run us, then what do we do when our life and relationship fall into the Dead Zone?
What does a healthy, successful relationship look like? It is different for every couple, but the values and principles remain the same. Commitment, Love, Respect, Laughter, Understanding, Communication, Forgiveness, Creativity... all the good stuff.
|Photographs by Fiona Hackman|
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