Making Matters

It was Monday morning, the house was finally empty and there I was buzzing with creative energy, fingers itching to get started on the many projects I have on the go.

So I cleaned the oven.

Then the floor.

The kitchen is now spotless and I feel better with my house in order, but the process taught me something; until I consciously value my own creativity, it will move further and further down the To Do list until it falls off the bottom.

So from 1st April I am dedicating Wednesdays to creativity.  There will most likely be other times in my week when I’m busy making, but this is my public statement of intent, a clear commitment to myself to place creativity firmly in the centre of my life.

I’m happy spending time working away on my own, but I’ve extended the invitation to friends to come and join me in Making Wednesdays Matter.  They're welcome to come for the day and bring along their creative projects - or just pop in for a coffee,cake and a chat in a creative space.  All I ask is that they donate £2 to Women for Women International, so we can help other women help themselves.  


It was my mother-in-law who encouraged me to do it.  She has friends who have been meeting for years to sew, knit and chat.  Some even asking others for mending projects as an excuse to turn up! 

Now that I am clear about my intention, my mind is starting to prioritise which projects to finish first, what extra materials or preparation work I need before I start.  I find myself starting to look around and ear-mark things for Making Wednesdays.

A friend of mine describes this as the difference between the Intention and the Out-tension.  The Intention is always constant  the Out-tension is the focus and action it takes to stay true to the Intention.

My Intention is to value creativity in myself and others and there is a certain kind of tension needed to manifest this in my life, so the Out-tension is making Wednesdays a creative day, getting my projects organised, inviting others to join me.  

I always imagine the Out-tension like walking a tight rope - at first you need intense focus and concentration but after a while, even though you never lose focus on what you're doing, your confidence grows and your body relaxes into it more.

The deeper I move into my own creative self-expression the more I recognise what a vital foundation stone it is for relationship success.  (See my blog on the 5 Daily Habits for Relationship Success).

Finding an outlet for your own creative self-expression allows you to heal the relationship to a vulnerable part of yourself who, as a child, was possibly shamed or ridiculed for his/her creative effort.  And that vulnerable place is also a doorway to connection with others.   

My creative journey has inspired my husband to start his own, he now makes award-winning Sourdough Bread and is also rediscovering his love of painting.   

Giving yourself permission to enjoy whatever creative project you do without comparison to others or harsh self-criticism is infectious (see my blog on getting the family hooked) - it awakens the playful, creative side in others and then we all get to play together again!

Inspiring Business Success

Taking Care of Business 
a guest blog from Guy Millar of The Millar Method

Left Brain Right Mind 

With everything that is happening in business and the economy it is obvious that radical change is required.  The problem is that we are not changing our way of thinking.  

In the past our attitude in business has been driven mainly by left brain processes. Left brain thinking is all about rationale, logic and analysis. It is about action, getting busy, meeting targets – and uses the masculine approach to getting business done. Right brain processing is about feelings, emotion, intuition, creativity, listening, inspiration – what are traditionally known as more feminine characteristics.  


Just like when a car is skidding out of control, turning the wheel in the opposite direction will stop the spin, so we as individuals are being asked to look at things another way. Whilst it seems counter-intuitive to turn the wheel the other way, it is the only thing that can stop the crash.

A client with a successful business, and many of the symbols of success, came to see me because he felt he was struggling.  He did not feel successful.  He felt that something was missing; running the business seemed like hard work and home life just seemed to echo the feelings of heaviness and exhaustion he felt at work.

Journey without end.
I know a lot of people, men in particular, who are caught in this pattern. They have achieved a level of success and yet don’t feel successful, nor are they able to enjoy the trappings of their success.  

In fact, after years of work the only thing they feel is trapped by it all.  They know there must be more to life than this and they want things to change, but they do not know how to go about it.   Often the only way to get some kind of excitement back into their lives is to either create a situation that gets them feeling alive again by bringing their business to the brink of collapse, or have a change of career, an affair, buy a motorbike.  Reckless decisions are made with little or no thought to the long-term consequences.

Stopping the tailspin

With coaching my client was able to do the counter-intuitive thing.  Instead of working on how to increase productivity, create bigger sales targets (which would only increase his dissatisfaction and misery), we worked on addressing the feelings and beliefs he had around his business and, more importantly, himself.  

He realized that he felt resentful of having to work so hard, of feeling unappreciated by his family, for having to be the provider.  We explored where these feelings and beliefs came from and discovered that he had been working hard all his life to avoid feelings of failure and inadequacy. 

With new awareness he began to apply a new level of thinking which changed his attitude and relationship not only to his work, but to his sense of identity. He began to feel less burdened by his business and felt inspired, motivated and creative – he even gave himself time off to pursue a long forgotten love of fishing.  He now feels able to give himself wholeheartedly to his life, family and work. 

And his staff and loved ones feel the difference too!

“You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that caused it”.  

Albert Einstein

The open road
To be successful in the 21st century business needs a new level of thinking. I believe the only way business can achieve this is by rethinking itself, its purpose, its possibilities and conduct, and start leading the way forward in this time of huge uncertainty. Only when we are able to bring right-minded thinking to problems will solutions start to present themselves.

When my client accessed feelings underneath exhaustion and inertia, he was he also able to reconnect with his more creative side.  With access to this part of his mind was he able to uncover possibilities and find answers that he had been seeking previously so desperately through hard work and exhaustion.  

Business is good – and so is life. 

If you would like to explore a revolutionary new level of thinking about your business, contact Guy at info@themillarmethod.co.uk

www.themillarmethod.co.uk

A Wonderful Life

Misunderstandings, unresolved arguments, resentment and old hurts can affect your well-being and prevent you living wholeheartedly.  It takes two to continue a cycle of blame and criticism, but only one to break it.


Choosing to heal conflict communicates your willingness to have a wonderful life.  Discover simples techniques to end the disagreements so that happiness, success and well-being can flow again.


Isn't it time to live your Wonderful Life?

October Workshop    A Wonderful Life 

Saturday, October 8th, 2011.  10am - 5.pm.  £50

For details contact Kim on 07789 408378 or kim@relationshiptraining.co.uk

What is your ‘North Pole’ Challenge?

Many young men returning from war are showing us how miracles show up in today’s world. When a miracle is defined as a shift in perception, there is the miracle of modern medicine and rehabilitation programmes. Many of the men have lost limbs and yet with the progress in medicine and the dedication of the caring professions they are being shown a whole other way of looking at their new lives. Not only are they learning to live with prosthetics and disabilities but they are reaching levels of achievement that are truly awe inspiring.

Secondly, they are showing us the miracle of the healing process. How the human spirit can transform. These young men – yes they have lost their limbs, yes their lives as they knew them have shattered and yet they are using the very event that changed their life to push themselves to greater levels of achievement. They are showing the world what a True Hero is. How many times do we use the excuse of events from our past that shattered us to prevent us from really shining, from achieving our purpose? These young men are showing us what is truly heroic: a vulnerable and challenged individual using those very qualities to achieve great success and inspiring and motivating others to do the same time.

These young men have acknowledged their pain, they cannot deny the events - they happened. Often their health, well-being and many of their dreams for the future have been shattered by them too. However, with support, guidance, healing and determination many have set their sights on a greater goal than self-pity. The papers are full of reports of the new goals these young men set themselves.

"In the Walking with the Wounded polar challenge, four disabled soldiers are changing one extreme environment and form of ordeal for another in pursuit of a world record." reports Tom Coghlan in an article in The Times, 19th Feb '11. "They are part of a team who will become the first group including amputees to reach the North pole unaided. Despite their broken bodies they will each be hauling about 130 kilograms behind them."

So what is your North Pole challenge, your greatest goal? And what event do you need to acknowledge and address, heal and rehabilitate from in order to achieve it? Everything that happens in life is part of our training for our purpose; the events that take place give us the tools and skills we need to achieve our goal. Sometimes we just need help, support, guidance and a healing process to see it that way. That shift in perception, that willingness to change how we respond to past events, becomes our own personal miracle.

My miracle came in reading that article. Those Heroes, those brave young men have helped me to recognize my fears and have inspired me to take another brave step in my life. I recognize I have been holding myself back, immobilized by old fears and beliefs. I am ready to embrace the Hero in me and take the next step and the next and the next…. Are you ready to take yours?