Remember what the summer holidays felt like when you were a kid - that expansive sense of freedom and possibilities? The feeling of excitement and adventure? That is how life is meant to feel!
Anytime we feel bogged down, trapped, miserable, hurt, despairing - we are stuck in the equivalent of a double lesson of fear with the prospect of extra homework. The best thing we can do is to adopt an attitude of curiosity - 'what is the lesson I am being asked to learn from this state/situation/mindset?' - and apply ourselves to the answer.
In the past I compiled a long list of excuses for why my life wasn't working: I was either blaming myself or someone else, my childhood or theirs, the world at large or my inner critic. Anyone or anything that I could find to prevent me actually having to do anything truly productive to change things and feel happy, successful, fulfilled.
Then I discovered a model of relationship that taught me to see the world from a completely different perspective. I discovered blaming and complaining were just ways of avoiding moving forward and getting on with life. If I saw myself at the mercy of other people's behaviour, of circumstances and events beyond my control, I would remain powerless to change anything and the only meaning I could give to my experiences was that I was a victim. If I wanted to live a meaningful life, to feel powerful and to grow and learn, I could work on my emotional intelligence and learn to see everything and everyone in it as meaningful and significant. I could become curious as to why things happened the way they did - and what my part in it might be.
To become a good student of life's lessons you need to adopt an attitude of curiosity and a willingness to explore and research events and experiences for a deeper meaning. It takes time to get the hang of it, and some lessons can be really difficult. However, you'll know when you've got the answer right when the emotional charge is gone, you no longer feel a victim, everyone involved comes out of it well and life feels better.
At times you may lose concentration and make clumsy mistakes, but be kind to yourself, take your time and focus on what you want the outcome to be - the answers will begin to come more easily. When you fail, learn to be more forgiving and be willing to give it another go until it works out well.
It can be hard to find the answers on your own at first, its good to get a teacher to help - or at least someone who has found an answer to that particular problem and is working on the next one. If you'd like to become a good student and to enjoy your life lessons, our training programmes and events can help you study more efficiently!
No comments:
Post a Comment