Saturday, February 4, 2012

Love Lines #4: love is the answer, whatever the question.

Daily insights as a warm up to Valentine's Day

Putting Yourself First
The different words and phrases we use to convey a similar message can be very revealing.   My husband and I are both coaches and often work together helping partnerships address their relationships challenges.  When we're working with patterns of withdrawal I might say something like ‘you are the only person who can put you into the centre of your life’ whereas my husband might comment ‘you have to deal yourself into the game’ – it must be from all those nights he played poker!!! 

The language also reflects a different mindset.  Women tend to take care of others at the expense of their own needs and men tend to exclude themselves and go it alone.  Whilst the behaviour is different the underlying issue is the same – a feeling of unworthiness.  Whatever the language, to truly connect in any relationship, you have to show up in your own life first.

Day 4:
Do something that makes you feel good to be you.  It doesn’t have to be a huge event.  It could be something as simple as making yourself your favourite meal, joining a group of some kind, starting a course, helping a child solve a problem, singing on the top of your voice.  Living your life doesn’t mean a dramatic make-over, in fact it is often the small things we do that change the course of our lives forever.  Whatever you choose to do – do it wholeheartedly, because it matters to YOU.  If you want your children to feel good about themselves, lead your life
                                                     wholeheartedly and show them how its done!

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