Monday, September 24, 2012

Relationship Breakdown - 5 steps to recovery

The end of an era is also the start of something new,  developing new life-skills from painful experiences helps you build the confidence to create exciting plans for the future.

It is never easy to process the feelings of heartbreak at the end of a relationship, but working with these five steps will help give you a fresh perspective on your world and your place in it.  

Step one:  Accept the change.  The greatest pain comes from resisting the change in circumstances.  We try to claw back the past, unpicking how things went wrong and trying to desperately figure out how to get things back on track.  Recognise that your life will change and commit to using it to move you forward, not hold you back.  

Step two:  Let go.  Write down everything you value, list everything you don’t enjoy.  Write down all the pain, hurt and anger you feel.   Write down everything that you love and hate - about yourself and others; what you’re good at, what you can’t do.  List all your hopes and dreams. Then burn it and let it go!  Keep letting go, every day, until something changes.  When you are willing to let go of it all, you change your internal state and make room for possibilities.

Step three:  Understand the power of the mind.  If you want to change something, change the way you think about it.  Your mind is a powerful resource; investing its power in trust that everything will work out well in the end, rather than in fear that it’s the end of everything, helps you to find the inner strength and resources to emerge stronger and more confident. Use the situation as an opportunity to embrace change and learn to live wholeheartedly.  Its like any exercise, the more you do it the easier it becomes.  

Step four:  Re-commit to your life.  Feeling that this event has taken away your self-worth or your confidence is a sign that, along the way, you lost yourself in the relationship.  Now is a great opportunity for you to commit to your personal growth.  No-one is responsible for your happiness except you.  Someone may trigger feelings but the source of your pain is always much older than the present event.  Use this situation as a chance to free yourself from childhood heartbreak and watch your confidence grow as you rediscover your authentic self.

The final step:  Look beyond the ordinary.   A crisis gives us an opportunity to open up new levels of thinking and to see the bigger picture.  Lighting a candle and spending some time each day in quiet meditation, walking in nature or reaching out to someone in greater need can help us to reconnect to a power greater than ourselves.  Asking for help from this realm could create a miracle you never thought possible!  

More training and helpful insights available at Relationship Training.  Call Kim 07789 408378

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