And ...... relax.

I am sitting in an empty house.  Candles are lit, the tree lights sparkling.  All the wrapping, preparations, cooking and gatherings are over.  The family have gone on a Boxing Day walk and later we're meeting in the local pub so our youngest son can buy us all a drink - because today is his 18th birthday.

I feel relieved, happy and sad all at the same time. Relieved that all the preparations are over. Happy that we were able to have such a great gathering for Christmas Day and everyone loved the home-made gifts I'd made them.  Happy our son is now an adult and that he was delighted with his birthday presents.

Sad that it is the end of an era.  That I can now officially say  'all my children are grown up'.

I remember when they were all young, life with four children was often exhausting and chaotic and I sometimes used to dream of the time they would be grown up.  Now the moment is finally here it feels like a balloon just floated out of my grasp and I'm watching it rise high above the trees, never to be seen again.

'If you want to be happy, let go of something that is making you sad'

In the quiet moment I have just now I am going to allow myself to mourn the loss of this era, to reflect on what went well and what I have learned and then, like my newly adult youngest son, I am going to celebrate and welcome in the next exciting phase of my life with open arms.