Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Wise words for a happy marriage.

I loved Australian illustrator and author Matthew Johnstone's book on meditation "Quiet the Mind' and often recommend it to people who find it hard to do just that - stop the incessant inner chatter.  

I also love his Alphabet of Love, where he gives wise counsel on many aspects of life and relationships.  Here is his  M for Marriage - great words of advice whether you're just starting out on the journey or are well down the path!

Congratulations, you’re married.
What an extraordinary gesture you’ve made, this gift of yourself. And what an extraordinary gift has been given to you.

The question is: how do you protect it? How do you nurture the thing that nurtures you?

Perhaps it’s time to get practical. To make plans.

First, it’s obviously best to plan your life together before you start planning your wedding.  Although you’ve probably talked about your dreams, they are not yet plans. And dreams without plans make for a restless bed.

Schedule time together over a glass of wine, a cup of tea or a long walk and imagine your life well lived.

Is it a story of children, a cosy home, a warm welcome to friends and family?  Or an adventure of a different sort; treks across Egypt, the Serengeti, up the Amazon?
Think about children, religion, schooling, attitudes to discipline, and who puts out the rubbish – it’s best to deal with all the boring stuff at the beginning of a marriage, not at the end.
Remember, there are no wrong answers, just what works for both of you.  It’s your story – you are writing it together.

So, ask, what’s the next chapter, and the next, and the next after that?  Imagine the impossible. Try out different ideas. Aim for the stars. But make plans.
Life is fleeting. The more you plan to experience together, the more you actually will.
And the best thing? You get to do it with the one you love.

Plan to live a great life:

Start at the end
What would you want people to say about you at your funeral? Morbid? Not if you really want to live.

What legacy would you like to leave?
What is important to you? What example would you wish to leave the world?

Write it down
Write a document of what you want to do with your life. Most importantly, read it every day.

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