Thursday, January 10, 2013

Life's becoming emotional

Do you ever convince yourself on the outside that something isn't a big deal, but on the inside it's a whole other story?  Bubbling away behind the scenes is a vat of emotion. You think you're keeping it well hidden, but occasionally a waft of resentment, hurt or anger escapes and everyone asks 'where did that come from?'

Where do our emotions go if we don't express them?  Unprocessed feelings are dumped in a kind of emotional landfill and become, like any landfill, hazardous to our environment.  We become difficult to be around, giving off bad vibes and harming the people we care about.  

If we have no relationship with our feelings, we have no idea how our behaviour affects others - and we have no idea how others are feeling.  All we know is that something isn't right and we feel disconnected.  

I see many relationships breakdown as a result of this kind of problem; neither party wants to really acknowledge their emotions or their behaviour and, unwilling to address the root cause, the relationship begins a downward spiral of blame and criticism.  The very thing that was built from love becomes a dangerous environment where revealing your feelings makes you vulnerable and open to attack.

Our emotions are the interface between the outer world and our deepest self.   Created from our experiences, forged by our thoughts and beliefs, they drive our behaviour and communication.  Emotions are the lifeblood of relationships and if we switch off from the bad stuff, we can't feel the good stuff.  We need to become conscious of the painful emotions and learn to process them differently in order to access a priceless resource which builds authentic, healthy, sustainable connection to others: Love.  

Getting to know your feelings and how they run your world builds emotional intelligence and has many benefits; reduced stress, improved well-being, greater levels of trust and connection in relationships but, most of all, we get to feel joyous again.  

No comments: