Wednesday, March 28, 2012

How Self Centred are you?

When there is harmony and balance in a relationship, opposite characteristics help to build a great partnership but in stressful situations, those same differences can drive people apart.

Blame and criticism  create further distance and push the relationship to extreme polarities, usually resulting in frequent arguments or - if there is a fear of conflict - deadness.   When this happens our tendency is to try to get the other person to change, but being Self-Centred means having a better understanding of yourself, learning to recogninse when you are in reaction, knowing how to centre yourself and respond effectively to any challenges you meet along the way.    
We have an inner and outer reality.  If you give yourself no time for inner reflection or place little value on your inner world, you will find yourself easily influenced by outside events and will easily be knocked off-centre.  This can show up as a loss of confidence, withdrawal, low feelings, difficult relationships, poor self-image, loss of motivation, feelings of failure - to name just a few!

Being Self-Centred is a powerful remedy for relationship problems.  With a strong inner centre you regain self-awareness, greater confidence and self-worth.  With a shift in emphasis from your outer world to your inner reality, rather than always being in reaction to external triggers, you find resources such as improved assertiveness, resilience, compassion and greater understanding.  It enables you to communicate with greater confidence and address challenging circumstances and behaviours, it also helps maintain and strengthen your self-worth.

To fulfill your potential you need a healthy balance of opposites both within and without.  Becoming Self-Centred allows you to be open and able to respond rather than react to your world.  You become calmer, more peaceful. You learn when to say no and when to say yes and are able to communicate both effectively.  You become the leader of your life, rather than at the mercy of circumstances.   

And by taking your place in the centre of your own life, you help those you love to do the same in theirs.

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