Thursday, December 29, 2011

Forget the pearls - I'm going for gold. The benefits of setting goals in relationship

I’ve always enjoyed setting myself goals and love to have a project on the go, but consciously setting goals in relationship used to be an alien concept to me.  When my husband and I did so, it resulted in a huge change in our lives.

We decided one day to write up a list of the things we wanted for our relationship.  He was very serious and put finances, renewing our wills and improved health on the list. I added better communication, a change of lifestyle and, spooked by the finances bit, also insisted we put in some fun goals.  

Talking about the issues on our list was nerve-wracking to begin with but it helped us realize that we both wanted to live a more wholehearted life.  As a result of communicating more honestly we reached a greater level of partnership around finances, and re-writing our wills enabled us to open up helpful discussions with the wider family about the importance of them; we had health checks, started a fitness regime and went to Rome (that was one of the fun goals), plus we moved into new offices and moved house!

When we resist change in our relationship – believing it will be for the worse – the rot can set in. The fun, the thrill, the excitement dies and takes the relationship with it.  As a result of consciously setting goals in your relationship you can reconnect and start to enjoy life together again.  We didn’t just move house, we moved our relationship to a whole new level, and achieved much more than we had believed possible. Now we work on relationship goals every year and are about to set goals for 2012.  As well as it being an Olympic year, it’s our 30th (Pearl) wedding anniversary, hmmm…. 

Why not give yourself a few quiet minutes and ask yourself ‘what would I like to have happen in 2012?’ and see what surfaces?   

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