Thursday, January 19, 2012

The secret to happiness?

Happy Bunnies!
My 3 Top Tips for Relationships

I was recently asked what, in my experience, are the three most effective skills needed to successfully resolve relationship issues.  These are the ones that will have the most profound results.

1. Take 100% responsibility for what is happening in your life.
This requires some work. Most of the time when there is a problem in a relationship, its easier to run a cycle of blame and criticism but, as a result, nothing really changes. You take responsibility by becoming curious: what am I being asked to learn from this, how can I see this differently?  100% responsibility - not blame or guilt -  means building a new level of awareness and emotional intelligence.  It is empowering and creates a new attitude to life and relationships.

2. Learn to speak the other person's language.
Misunderstandings often happen because you assume the other person thinks and feels just like you. Whilst we are more alike than we are different, how we receive and process information depends on our inner and outer circumstances. Learn how to communicate in a language your partner understands and you'll be amazed how quickly things can improve!

3. Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance
10% of the pain experienced in relationships is from the events that are happening now and 90% comes from our past.  Present upsets will trigger old wounds and hurts - many much older than the relationship.  When we heal our old wounds we are able to address and communicate the present issues with greater clarity and understanding.  Forgiveness - of the past, of ourselves and others - is a key ingredient in a loving relationship.

Commitment in relationship means commitment to the process of mutual understanding and forgiveness, no matter how many conversations need to be had, or how difficult those conversations may be.  Marianne Williamson

Keep Talking!

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