New Year State of Mind

There have been times when I really empathised with Scrooge.  It used to be that from mid December onwards I would wake at 3am in a state of anxiety and thinking "I can't wait for it to be over". I'd start fantasizing about the 6th January when the whole festive thing would be done, decorations gone and life back to 'normal'.

So a few years ago, when I found myself falling in to a stressed out state in the middle of the night - again -  I decided that there had to be a better way of experiencing Christmas than this.  I decided to focus on how I would feel when life was 'back to normal'.   I imagined how I would be calm, relaxed, happy and with a clear sense of direction. Then I had a brainwave 'why not just bring that mind-set forward to now?'  Of course I still had a great deal to do before Christmas and whilst I couldn't change the fact that Christmas was happening, I could change my attitude towards it.

So I brought my New Year State of Mind forward by a few weeks and discovered that it helped lower my stress levels and, as a result, my thinking got clearer.  I became more efficient, more time seemed to create itself (even though I was never busier) and everything got done more easily. Best of all, I had a great time!  Christmas Day and Boxing Day were full of family, food and celebrations.  I felt really present, much more able to relax and enjoy the chaos.  Christmas became a magical time again and was much more fun.

Somethings you can't change, but you can change your attitude to it. I learnt a great lesson about the power of the mind. Think of a challenging situation, think about the positive feelings you will feel when it is over and bring that state of mind forward to the present to help you work through the challenge.  

Now I am going to apply it to the ironing!  And the fitness programme.... And the tax return .....

All you Knead is Love

Nigella Lawson seduced my husband.  He used to come home from work exhausted and unwind with a glass of wine and a simple supper when suddenly the raven-haired temptress appeared on telly offering food porn.  Next thing was he'd race back from work, plonk his meal on a tray and dash to slobber over her the food she cooked.

I'd never seen him show much interest in food.  Years of boarding school had taught him to eat what he could when he could but all of a sudden here he was looking at food from a totally different embonpoint of view.

To be honest, I am deeply grateful to her.  Her enticing and croquetish (see what I did there!) ways inspired him to take over the kitchen.  He now does so much cooking that my son-in-law recently asked my daughter if I ever did any (I soon put him straight with my slow roasted shoulder of lamb followed by a pistachio and blood-orange honeycake).

Even my reign as Queen of Curries is over as I've had to concede that my husband's Rick Stein Goan Fish Curry is simply the best curry ever.

And now things have taken yet another turn, one which I'm afraid will prove to be my complete undoing.

He took himself off to the River Cottage for a Baking Course and is now no longer in love with Nigella, oh no, now it's his 'mother' - a funny little bowl of flour and water that magically morphs into his starter culture for bread.  He feeds her and fusses over her to make sure she's happy.  If she's a little bitter then she gets some extra tlc but once she's sweet then it's 'action stations'.  Suddenly the flour is flying, the oven is warming and bowls of dough start rising like balloons around the kitchen.

He has now become a baker and it has changed our lives!  Gorgeous, chewy batches of sour dough bread are starting to populate the kitchen and I have taken to consuming big slices lathered with salty butter and homemade jam.

OMG????  I've spent years eating consciously, avoiding gluten and having an alkaline diet.  Its like I'm addict, all my years of good eating thrown away by one loaf.  I seem to be totally disinterested in vegetables and brown rice now and only want the high that chewy, springy. freshly made sourdough bread and butter can deliver.  I try to convince myself that my enthusiasm is part of helping him develop his craft, but the truth is 'skinny' does not feel as good as his amazing sour dough bread tastes.  I've even taken up running again to help counter the calorie consumption!

But more important than the possible increase in my waistline is my total and utter delight that he has found his passion.  I have never seen him so fired up before and it is wonderful - his happiness makes me happy!  If he is not feeding his 'mother' culture or preparing the dough, he's working out his timings or reading baking books like an eager student.  He has big dreams for bread and we are all waiting with open mouths!

It is really important to do something you love, something that makes your heart sing, something that gives you a reason to spring out of bed.  Doing something YOU love connects you back to your own creativity and allows you to express yourself in your own unique way.  Giving yourself permission to do things that feel true for you is like letting your 'inner child' out to play; you begin to grow in confidence as you learn new skills and suddenly joy, enthusiasm and love begin to flow again.  This is an irresistible quality in us all and something that can inspire others to go out and play too.

What would make your heart sing?

If you'd like to find out, come to our Christmas Presence workshops this December.

Christmas Presence

Buying gifts for Christmas can be the easy part – one click and parcels  arrive at your door. Being present at this time of year can be more of a challenge.

I’ve decided to make 2014 the year of giving my gifts – whatever they may be – and, because once I’m inspired I like to get started, I’m giving two free evening workshops in the festive run-up called ‘Christmas Presence’.

If you’d like to get together with a group of like-minded people and work on how best to give your presence this Christmas contact me to book your free place.  There’ll be laughter, mince pies, a few tears, lots of fun and a donation box for an amazing local charity, The Rosemary Foundation. 

Contact me to reserve your place on one or both events.
Wednesdays 4th & 11th December, 6.30 – 9.30.

The truth is....deep down, I'm really shallow.

About 10 years ago I read an amazing book called 'The Women's Book of Dreams' and woke up to the hidden potential of the dream state.

Since then I've not only been on a great dreaming journey, learning different ways to access and harness this creative part of the mind and helping clients get in touch with their own powerful hidden resources, this year I've also established The Dream Apothecary, providing products to help people reconnect with the power of their dreams.  

One of things that has always intrigued me is lucid dreaming,  a state of consciousness where you become aware that you are dreaming and yet stay in the dream.  It has been part of the Buddhist dream yoga practise for thousands of years and Charlie Morley's wonderful new book Dreams of Awakening - Lucid Dreaming the Mindfulness of Dream and Sleep, brings a playful, yet heartfelt and spiritual approach to learning this ancient art.

New blend, new fabric

I had been working on a new blend of herbs for my Dream Pillows  so last night, aided by the lovely new aroma, I dropped into a deep dream state and had my first lucid dream!

In the dream I was in a changing room feeling confined and suddenly had the thought 'I am dreaming'.  I remembered what the book said to do when this moment arrived and did some of the checks to confirm that I was in fact dreaming.  

As soon as I confirmed it to myself it was a bit like being told you have three wishes - I know knew I had the power to change my experience of the dream and to work in a deep part of my mind.   

Dear reader, do you know the deep, profound and spiritual thing I did?  I said to myself 'Great, if I'm lucid dreaming then when I come out of the changing room and look in the mirror, I'll be a size 10'.

I may need to do more work on my dream yoga.

Dream Apothecary products will be on sale at Godalming Independent Market, 30th November and Grenville Hall, Droxford, 1st Dec. Or contact me to buy your Dream gifts for Christmas.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 12

'Forgiveness is Love on the earthly plane.' ACIM

The ancient Hawaiian forgiveness practice of Ho'oponopono (meaning to make right) is a simple way of releasing negative thoughts, it enables you to clean up your inner world and put yourself on course for a great life and healthy relationships. 

This time of year is a good time to begin an emotional detoxification process  -  you come out the other side ready for an amazing new year. So, any area of your life where you feel discord, bring it to mind and say:  'I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you'. Don't worry about the arguments your ego may want to have about who or what is right or wrong - set your course for inner-peace and let the journey begin.

Wishing you a joy-filled Christmas.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 11
Depending on your circumstances wrapping presents can be a chore or a delight. 

Rather than worrying about whether the gift you have bought will be enough/well received/suitable, as you write the label list all the qualities you admire about the recipient - kindness, sense of humour, generosity, supportive etc.  

Alongside the present, they will receive a gift  from you that will sustain them all year long - and the label could be the most precious thing they receive this Christmas.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 10

With just a few days to go the ‘to do’ list starts growing in direct proportion to the amount of time is running out: tension is building.  

Time to get in the mood.  Play your favourite Christmas songs and sing your heart out.  Give it your all.   

Dr. Gottfried Schlaug, associate professor of neurology at Harvard University says about singing. "There's rarely any other activity that is experienced as being joyous and can really activate or engage so many regions of the brain ."  

So not only will it get you in the Christmas mood, it stimulates the brain and increases your levels of joy.  

Hallelulia!

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 9

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.  Norman MacEwan

Sharing food is an act of love that brings people together for a common purpose: to connect.  As you prepare the food for Christmas, whether its the bread sauce for the turkey, the mince pies and brandy butter, or warming up the M&S delights - open your heart and pour love into the preparations.  Think of your work as the highest expression of your true nature; regardless of your culinary skills, it will have a profound effect on the meal.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 8

The important thing is this: to be ready at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.  Charles Dickens

When the heat is on and you find yourself coming to a boil and about to erupt - quickly find something to help you change your state.  It could be something as daft as dancing on the spot, as simple counting backwards from 10, or as accessible as taking three full breaths  - anything that breaks the stress circuit in your body and creates a new neural pathway to inner calm.  The more you do this the stronger the new pattern will become, the easier it will be to reach your true potential.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 7

Create a calm, welcoming and relaxing atmosphere at home with this festive room spray.  Fill a plant spray bottle with 300mls of water and add essential oils:  

2 drops Mandarin: evokes good memories, stimulates the digestive system and conveys joy and positivity 

1 drop Cinnamon: warming, inviting and stirs the appetite

4 drops Pine good for fatigue,  opens up the respiratory system and helps reawaken our instinctive connection to life.

Spritz the rooms regularly and breathe in the therapeutic effects of the oils.  

If you want something to help you stay relaxed and to calm feelings of anxiety, put a couple of drops of geranium oil on a tissue and inhale whenever you feel the stress levels rising.  

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 6
One Christmas, heavily pregnant and exhausted, I was cheered by the thought of the gift I believed I was getting from my husband.  I had seen a large box he had hidden and was excited and thrilled at the thought that he was giving me a computer.  That Christmas morning he was filming us (he got a camera!) and focussed in on me as I opened my present.  As I open the gift a silence descended.  I looked at the camera, my eyes filled with tears. 
'You got me a ... microwave?'  

The home video shows the camera shaking.  

When things get tense and you think 'one day I'll laugh about this', don't wait - start now! 

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 5
'Christmas is coming, roll on Twelfth Night' is what you might be thinking, but you can use the power of your mind to work this to your advantage.  Imagine how you will be feeling when Christmas is over; exaggerate the feelings of relief, calm, the sense of freedom and bring that state of mind to the present time.  
There is no past or future - only the present, and you have the power to choose how you experience the now.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 4
Is there someone you are dreading seeing over Christmas? Someone you fear might start an argument, or with whom you have unresolved issues?   Every time you think of them, visualize them feeling peaceful and loving toward themselves, you and the world around them.  
You can't change other people, but you can change the way you think about them.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No. 3
Christmas is not about the gift, it is about giving and its important to remember to include yourself in the process; play lovely music whilst you wrap, create a festive, relaxing atmosphere to work in. With each present you wrap, each card you write, remember the love you feel for the recipient and allow that feeling to define what you are doing.

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No 2

Rewrite your Christmas gift list:

'To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect. ' 

Oren Arnold

How to avoid going Christmas Crackers - Daily tips for staying sane in the run up to Christmas.

Tip No 1
As you get ready for Christmas remember to set your intention for the kind of attitude YOU want to have.  Give yourself 10 minutes of quiet time every day to focus on your vision for Christmas.  
Envisage harmony, ease, happiness, see yourself feeling calm and enjoying the day - no matter what happens.  
Setting your intention has a powerful effect on the sub-conscious mind and will influence your attitude and ability to create a successful outcome.